How to deal with Atheists

As the numbers of people who claim to be atheists increase, so do encounters with them throughout the online Pagan communities. All too often I have encountered an atheist sharing a perfectly valid opinion, only to be shot down by pagans who felt persecuted by the atheist sharing their beliefs. That is not to say that some atheists do not come off as brash and obnoxious, but all too often the atheist has done nothing to warrant such a response from my fellow pagans.

Below I have compiled a list of ways in which I have dealt with both obnoxious and friendly atheists throughout my time in the online pagan community.

Be open to new opinions
This person's opinion is just as valid as yours. You may even learn something enlightening and interesting from them. Many atheists I have come across are quite intelligent and have researched their reasons for NOT believing, just as many of us have researched our reasons FOR believing. Though it may be stereotypical, if one wants to know something about the sciences, often an atheist is the person to ask!

Lose your prejudices
As I mentioned earlier, there is generally a stigma or prejudice attached to atheists upon entrance to many pagan communities. Prejudice is an ugly thing and can prevent growth and cause stagnation. It can also prevent you from learning something new and exciting from the atheist in question. You may have encountered many obnoxious atheists in the past, there are a great many of them, but do not let that influence your interaction with other atheists. This one may be the picture of courtesy and kindness, whereas your past experiences may lie with the more obnoxious type. Don't let past experiences lead you to make a complete ass of yourself with this new person. Atheists range from calm to militant, just like adherents of all belief systems.

Don't lose your cool
Sometimes the militant or more obnoxious atheist will come along and create a complete emotional mess. Don't let this bother you. As I stated earlier, they have their own opinions, which are no more or less valid than yours. Don't lose your cool and stoop to personal attacks, which brings me to my next point.

Just ignore it
Sometimes, you will come across total asshats, who want to do nothing but cause drama and hurt feelings. Just ignore them. Sometimes this is the only option left. Your faith should be strong enough that you need no validation from anyone else. If you come across an atheist who only wants drama, ignore them, eventually they'll go away.

Don't try to "prove it"
Nothing you can say or do will prove to an atheist that your gods and goddesses are real. NOTHING. To try to convince them is a lesson in futility. In general they have taken the time and energy and done a lot of research that has brought them their conclusions of non-belief. Many of them will tell you, you can not prove a negative. And they're right. There is no scientific evidence or proof which will help you win this argument. Faith is a wonderful thing, but it will not stand up in a debate. Saying "I just feel it is so" will not help your case. Cut your losses and move on, or better yet, don't even begin this argument.

Compromise
I don't mean compromise your beliefs, but rather pick your battles. I have friends, including a very loving Fiance, who are staunch atheists. All too often I hear what could be consider insults directed toward spiritual and religious persons and constant degradations of spiritual paths. If I tried to argue with them, there would never be any peace. Instead I remember my first point, that they are welcome to their beliefs as much as I am mine. I choose to accept that and not get angry, and instead focus on my own spiritual and religious beliefs. I also decide not to get upset over such things. Nothing I can say or do will change that person's mind, and becoming upset over it will do nothing but bring me aggravation and sadness. "Just ignore it" goes a long way here.

Set your boundaries
As I mentioned above, my Fiance is an atheist. Not just an atheist, but damn near a militant atheist. I've encountered many pagans who feel such a relationship can and will not work, but it does and it has. It only takes a little bit of compromise, and boundary setting. I told my Fiance that he is not to insult, demean, or belittle my spiritual and religious choices in front of me. There are times where he has slipped up, but overall it has worked out extremely well, and he has become more open to my being a pagan. Of course, it also works in reverse, I will not insult, demean, or belittle his lack of spirituality either. Though he hasn't been an atheist the entire time we've been together, we are going on 5 years as of July.

The same also goes for friends and family. Set your boundaries, what you will and will not accept. Granted, there will always be those friends and family members who will not accept boundaries, that is the point where you have to decide if you'll just accept their behaviour or begin to stop spending time with them. That choice is entirely up to you.


I truly feel if more people used these or similar guidelines when dealing with people online, regardless of belief (or lack thereof), there would be much less instances of misunderstandings, arguments, and flame wars. In the end, we are all adults and must learn to accept our differences or be destroyed by them.